Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas Followers!

First, I have to apologize for my lack of posting. The holiday season has been ridiculously stressful. I have been busy preparing my fantasy football team to make it to the Championship. Which they did. Sorry Joe.

But seriously, I know how much you depend on my blog posts for hours of entertainment; so I promise you all, with the new year right around the corner, that I will blog a lot more.

I have two very special presents for you all.  Please enjoy......

 Nothing says Merry Christmas like a bunch of Chicago athletes that can't sing.
I would like to give special shout outs to:

 1. Kyle Korver- for looking like a complete idiot, but being the only Bull to kinda sing.
 2. Carlos Boozer- for putting those voice and dialect classes to good use and adding in that sweet lisp. Oh, and GOD BLESS your choreography.
 3. Joakim Noah- for his consistent look of uncertainty.
 4. Kurt Thomas- for having the audacity to ask Chicagoans for SEVEN BACK MASSAGES! Greedy much? Geez.
5. Dave Bolland- for looking like he would rather be doing anything else then making this video.
6. Patrick Sharp-for his natural ability to somewhat snap on beat.
7. Duncan Ketih- for only having to lift up his head and turn around. Can we say, dance captain?
8. Nick Leddy- for getting stuck with the Dreidel song.
9. John Scott- for saying his name with such enthusiasm.
10. Patrick Kane- for awkwardly shimmying.
11. Jonathan Toews- for pretty much doing nothing.

With songs like O Hossa Night and Frolik Navidad how can you not have a Merry Christmas!

I wish you all the happiest of holidays and I look forward to a new year of sports and I hope you will continue to go on this journey with me.

Merry Christmas Everyone!

If I Hear One More Thing About Tim Tebow....

I'll spit.

Ugh. It's Sunday Followers-

I should be enjoying my Sunday evening because I just got back from a very exciting Blackhawks OT win, but instead I'm so angry about the stupid Bears losing to the even stupider Broncos. I think I'm most upset that every single headline, every single facebook status, every single stupid tweet is praising Tim Tebow for yet another "miraculous" win. Woof.

I am NOT a Tim Tebow fan. I never have been and I never will. I'm not drinking the kool aid he's selling. I hate kool aid. It's gross.

I never thought I would ever say this, but I'm on Team Charles Barkley. You must be thinking, "Charles Barkley? What does he have to do with the NFL?" Well, he recently spoke on the "Waddle and Silvy" show about Tebowmania and he had something to get off his chest,


"I want to make a personal plea to Lance Briggs, Brian Urlacher, and Mr. [Julius] Peppers, please stop the madness. I'm just so tired ... I like Tim Tebow. He seems like a good kid, and I wish him success, but I am Tebowed out. So this is my personal plea for you three guys, please stop this madness."


I'm with ya, Charles. I'm so with you and I have to believe that the majority of America is as well. I am so sick of all the ESPN commentary and mindless babble about how Tim Tebow is changing the world of football one mediocre game at a time. Really ESPN? You CRAZY! I actually miss you talking about Lebron James! Crazy, right?!? Instead of wasting so much time talking about this big ole nut job; why don't you spend your time talking about the real "Savior of the Broncos!"

Let me ask you a question, Followers. Have you ever heard of Matt Prater? No? Neither has ESPN.

He's the kicker for the Denver Broncos. He's is actually the real hero of the Mile High City. If it weren't for Matt Prater the Broncos wouldn't even be close to a toilet bowl.

Here are some fun facts you should know:
-Tim Tebow has started in a total of 8 games.
-Out of those 8 games, the Broncos are 7-1.
-Matt Prater won the following games for the Broncos: (click on the game and see the game winning field goals):
1. Minnesota 35-32
2. San Diego 16-13
3. Miami 18-15
4. Chicago 13-10
-Out of the four games, three games went into overtime.
-Out of the three OT games, two of the games went into overtime because of a MATT PRATER FIELD GOAL!

This guy is one helluva kicker and no one seems to give him ANY credit.

Did you notice what all the announcers tend to say after any of Prater's game winning field goals? They tend to say, "Tim Tebow and the Broncos win again!" I'm sorry. Tim Tebow and the Broncos? Are you sure you didn't mean, "Matt Prater, Willis MacGahee, Eric Decker, The Broncos Defense and sorta Tim Tebow win again?" Tim Tebow never does enough during a game to allow him sole credit of their wins. Anyone look at Tebow's stats? Never that impressive. Anyone look at Matt Prater's stats? WAY more impressive.

In this season alone he's completed:

THREE 20-29 yard field goals
SEVEN 30-39 yard field goals
THREE 40-49 yard field goals
THREE 50-59 yard field goals (two of those goals were from the Bears game)

Instead of saying, "You've been Tebowed!" We should all be saying, "You've been Pratered!"

It's a shame that Matt will never get the proper credit he deserves for all the games he has won for the Broncos. It's a shame that he has to go home and listen to everyone praise somebody else.

Well, I think I've done a pretty good job at spreading the Gospel of Prater and I hope you will pass it on.

Enough of the Tebow Train let's all go to the Prater Party.

WHO'S WITH ME????


P.S. Patriots if you don't beat the Broncos next week, Charles Barkley and I are having words with you!

Eat. It.

Happy Sunday Followers-

Before I delve into today's topic, I want you to watch the video below. It's a piece Bob Costas (my hero) did about NFL celebrations. Please enjoy....


 I think this is really great commentary about the pettiness of the NFL touchdown celebration. As a fan,  I pay money to come watch a football game. You are paid to play the football game. So, act like one. Last time I checked, you aren't being paid to do some self indulgent dance in the end zone. It's only getting worse and worse (here are some crazy touchdown celebrations) and unfortunately, it is becoming an issue in college football, but no one wants to talk about it...

Well, I will.

Now, I grew up in a household of college football purists. I was raised to eat, sleep, and breathe Northwestern football. I have been to more college football games then most people. I know and understand the rules when it comes to celebrating a touchdown. You score. You high five. You get off the field. You get the field goal. If you don't? If you dance around the end zone? Well then, you get a real nice "Excessive Celebration" penalty.

At first, I thought this was super ridiculous. A penalty for being happy that you scored some points? Really? But as I thought about it more and more, I couldn't be thankful enough that this is upheld in college football. Or is it?

I have noticed a new and flat out STUPID trend that is taking over the collegiate and professional football scene. It's unnecessary AND it's been made popular by old Shoelaces himself, Denard Robinson. Take a look...


 As you can see the new trend is to look like your eating a bowl of soup? Oatmeal? Cereal? Really, it can be anything you want. Sometimes it looks like he uses his fingers as chopsticks, so I like to think he's eating a nice bowl of chow mein. Regardless of what it is he is eating, it's stupid. I have had countless discussions with people about what it is this gesture means....

Here's my list of potential meanings:
1. Eat em' up!
2. Hungry for more!
3. This soup is good!

Clearly, there aren't many options and there all terrible.

Because the NFL is prone to this type of behavior, I would expect this from someone like, Vonn Miller, but I would expect a little bit more from someone like Denard.....

Bah! Who am I kidding? It's Michigan, right?

But seriously. What I don't understand is why this isn't considered excessive celebration? It's obnoxious and it takes away from the game. Just score your touchdown and get off the field. There is no need to take it any further than that. AND it's spreading. It is the new phenomenon (I caught a guy doing the gesture in the So. Miss vs. Houston game) and I don't get it. Remember when this happened?  It was a simple gesture, but it got called and they suffered the consequences. This is the same sort of thing and Denard has yet to be called out. I know another year of college football is coming to an end, but it's disappointing to watch the NCAA get a bit lax with their standards. And this is one standard that makes college football games so much more enjoyable to watch.

I hope that this "Eat em' up" gesture is just a phase.
I hope that NCAA refs grow some balls and throw a flag.
I hope that the NFL starts really penalizing for excessive celebration.

For the last time:  Quit the shenanigans and play some football! Who's with me?


At least we don't have to deal with the Canadian Football League. Those guys are straight up lost causes...
Woof.

He's NUMBER ONE! He's NUMBER ONE!

Happy Tuesday Followers (AKA my Mom)-


First off-I apologize for my lack of blogging since Thanksgiving. To be honest, there have been so many good things to blog about these past five days that I've been overwhelmed with options. To give you a sense of this dilemma, here are just a few stories I considered blogging about...

I considered blogging about how Ndamukong Suh is, quite possibly, the biggest douche bag in sports history. There is not an OUNCE of class in his bones. He releases this half-ass apology and then receives, what I think to be, a very easy punishment. Then he complains about his two-game suspension and decides to APPEAL the ban. The nerve. No wonder he came from Nebraska.

HEY NEBRASKA! REMEMBER THIS???

I considered blogging about the firing of-let's face it-a bazillion coaches within the last couple of days. My favorite headline: "Zook gets the Hook!"

I considered blogging about the fact that BASKETBALL is BACK, but I didn't want to hold my breath, ya know? I'm dreaming of a Bulls Christmas! 

I considered blogging about this little rumor that's spreading around town. Apparently, Mike Martz is considering leaving the Bears for the head coach position at Arizona State. Hmm....Most people might be a little discouraged by this information, but me?

Well, this is how I feel about it....

I considered blogging about Patrick Sharp's AMAZING HAT TRICK, or as I like to call it, a PAT TRICK, in Friday's game.

I considered blogging about Urban Meyer becoming the new head coach of Ohio State. What a douche. It's one thing if I don't like Urban Meyer, it's another if Richard Blais from Top Chef hates him: "Can't wait to belt out my chant next time Gators get to see Meyer... "Urban Liar" clap clap clap clap clap..." (brought to you by Richard's twitter account).

I considered blogging about the hilarity that was Jason Witten running into a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader as he was pushed out of bounds in Thursday's game. Ha. the. best.
In case you missed it.....

I considered ALL of my options. I could've made jokes and posted videos. I even could've photoshopped a picture of Ron Zook, but that just takes too much time.

What I finally decided to blog about today is journalistic "gold"en showers....

Please watch....

Nick Novak. My kicker for my fantasy football team: The Dirty Mark Sanchez's, is caught peeing on the sideline. The questions I have are: Did he pee in a gatorade cup? And did he give said cup to Tim Tebow after the Chargers lost? We may never know, but I can always hope.

I've Got Plenty to be Thankful For

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone! I am thankful for many things this year, but instead of focusing on what I'm thankful for, I would like to focus on the things I'm thankful I'm NOT...this is way more fun. Trust me.

The TOP TEN things I am Thankful I am NOT


10. I am thankful I am NOT a Canucks fan. I would rather eat glass.

9. I am thankful I am NOT stupid enough to trade Steve Smith from my fantasy team. 8-3 BABY!

8. I am thankful I am NOT the creator of the this....

because if I knew it would turn into this... I would have smashed it to pieces a long time ago.

7. I am thankful I am NOT in any way, remotely excited about this....

NBA stars coming to Chicago during 4-game tour

Thank the lord D Rose is not participating in such shenanigans. Go BULLS!

6. I am thankful that I am NOT a resident of Minnesota or Wisconsin. If I were I would be PISSED about this....

Northwestern bass fishers win regional championship | North by Northwestern

I mean I would expect students from Minnesota or Wisconsin, hell, practically ANY other state or university to win this competition, but NORTHWESTERN? Whoa. Sucks to be everyone else.

5. I am thankful that I am NOT any of the teams that have played Duke lately. Can we say OVERRATED?

4. I am thankful that I am NOT Ron Zook. I don't think this needs much explanation, right Joe?

3. I am thankful that I am NOT a Jets fan because they all end up like this...

Sorry Jets fans-not everyone can win football games.

2. I am thankful that I am NOT Stefan Demos. I think I'm thankful for that every single day of my life. Let's take a look back at the old Shankapotamus, shall we?

1. I am thankful that I am NOT a resident of the state of Pennsylvania. Too soon? Never.

Well that completes my Thanksgiving list. I hope you all have the best Thanksgiving!

Champagne Kisses and Caviar Dreams....not so much for this idiot.

I recently read an article in the Chicago Tribune about a man named Wayne who was caught burglarizing a townhouse in Grant Park. I would like to share it with you…

Here are my top seven reasons why this article is the BEST:

7. The scene of the crime is described having, “…beer bottles scattered about, an empty pizza box and a strong odor of fish…” Ew.

6. The townhouse owner’s Mom believes that her son would never leave his house is such disarray. Lady, you’re CRAZY! Have you ever witnessed a guy throwing out his empty pizza box or recycling his beer bottles right after he finishes them? Anyone? There is AT LEAST a two day grace period before anything gets put in their proper container. Sorry Mom.

5. While police were investigating the scene…I REPEAT…while police were investigating the scene this moron was spotted peeking into a window of the townhouse. Really?

4. Wayne left behind a hospital bracelet with his name on it and then GAVE the name that matched the one on the bracelet. Again, REALLY? I don’t plan on burglarizing anyone’s townhouse anytime soon, but if I did I would at least know NOT to give my real name.

3. This is one of my favorites. When he was caught he was wearing a fur, jeans, and a sweatshirt that belonged to the owner. Here is the more important question: Why does the owner have a fur?

2. Police say that, besides drinking beer and eating pizza, Wayne, “…used the owner’s computer and left lobster thawing in the fridge.” I mean at least he knew to thaw it, right?

Before I reveal the number one reason why this article is the best, you may be thinking to yourself, “But Dana, I thought you started this blog to write about sports. How is this sports related?” Well my loyal followers it all ties together….







1. The number one reason this article is the best is…he stole from the GM of the White Sox, Kenny Williams. HA!

GO CUBS!!!


Here's the full article:
Cops: Man breaks into Sox GM's home, drinks beer, defrosts lobster, takes World Series ring

One Thumb up for Jay Cutler

Cutler expected to miss 6-8 weeks with broken thumb


Jay Cutler has now joined the "Unmanliest Sports Injury" Club. Does this really surprise you? Come on Jay! If you're gonna be out for 6-8 weeks I want a sprained ankle or dislocated shoulder. Hell, I'll even let you jump on the "groin" injury bandwagon. I'm talking to you Roy Williams. I wanna see you grimace in pain as you limp to the sideline. You're already soooo good at that.

A stupid thumb injury is lame. Anyone who's anyone will tell you to, "Buck up and play the damn game!" I'm sorry Jay- but I am not convinced you need surgery. I'm not even convinced you actually broke it. You do tend to over exaggerate, no?

Solution: just slap on one of those really effective gloves that Stafford wore last week. Too soon Matt Stafford?

Bottom line: "Breaking fingers" are for babies. Break a real bone, then I'll feel bad for you as you sit on the sidelines and pout. (Even though you do that really well with ten perfectly healthy fingers.)

I will give you this: at least you broke your finger playing a sport NOT tripping over a gym bag!

I'm talking to YOU CARLOS BOOZER!!